50 Rules For Women

This is a list of rules that guys wished women knew...
1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
3. Don't make us guess.
4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."
7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
8. Dogs are better than cats.
9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.
11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
12. You have enough clothes.
13. You have too many shoes.
14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
15. Your brother is an idiot.
16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
17. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
18. Share the bathroom
19. Share the closet.
20. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
22. Nothing says 'I love you' like sex in the morning.
23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
24. Check your oil.
25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
26. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
27. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
28. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. we're bound to miss sometimes.
29. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
32. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
33. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.
34. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
35. Don't make 50 rules when 35 will do.

WHAT SENATOR JOHN GLENN SAID:

There were 39 combat related killings in Iraq in January.
In the fair city of Detroit there were 35 murders in the
month of January.That's just one American city,
about as deadly as the entire war-torn country of Iraq.

When some claim that President Bush shouldn't
have started this war, consider the following:

a. FDR led us into World War II.

b. Germany never attacked us; Japan did.
>From 1941-1945, 450,000 lives were lost ...
an average of 112,500 per year.

c. Truman finished that war and started one in Korea.
North Korea never attacked us
>From 1950-1953, 55,000 lives were lost ...
an average of 18,334 per year.

d. John F. Kennedy started the Vietnam "conflict" in 1962.
Vietnam never attacked us.

e. Johnson turned Vietnam into a quagmire.
>From 1965-1975, 58,000 lives were lost .
an average of 5,800 per year.

f. Clinton went to war in Bosnia without UN or French consent.
Bosnia never attacked us.
He was offered Osama bin Laden's head on a platter three
times by Sudan and did nothing. Osama has attacked us on
multiple occasions.

g. In the years since terrorists attacked us , President Bush
has liberated two countries, crushed the Taliban, crippled
al-Qaida, put nuclear inspectors in Libya, Iran, and North
Korea without firing a shot, and captured a terrorist who
slaughtered 300,000 of his own people.

The Democrats are complaining
about how long the war is taking.
But
It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno
to take the Branch Davidian compound.
That was a 51-day operation.

We've been looking for evidence for chemical weapons
in Iraq for less time than it took Hillary Clinton to find
the Rose Law Firm billing records.

It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the
Marines to destroy the Medina Republican Guard
than it took Ted Kennedy to call the police after his
Oldsmobile sank at Chappaquiddick.

It took less time to take Iraq than it took
to count the votes in Florida!!!!

Our Commander-In-Chief is doing a GREAT JOB!
The Military morale is high!

The biased media hopes we are too ignorant
to realize the facts

But Wait there's more!

JOHN GLENN (ON THE SENATE FLOOR)
Mon, 26 Jan 2004 11:13

Some people still don't understand why military personnel
do what they do for a living. This exchange between
Senators John Glenn and Senator Howard Metzenbaum
is worth reading. Not only is it a pretty impressive
impromptu speech, but it's also a good example of one
man's explanation of why men and women in the armed
services do what they do for a living

This IS a typical, though sad, example of what
some who have never served think of the military.

Senator Metzenbaum (speaking to Senator Glenn):
"How can you run for Senate
when you've never held a real job?"

Senator Glenn (D-Ohio):
"I served 23 years in the United States Marine Corps.
I served through two wars. I flew 149 missions.
My plane was hit by anti-aircraft fire on 12 different
occasions. I was in the space program. It wasn't my
checkbook, Howard; it was my life on the line. It was
not a nine-to-five job, where I took time off to take the
daily cash receipts to the bank."

"I ask you to go with me ... as I went the other day...
to a veteran's hospital and look those men ..
with their mangled bodies in the eye, and tell THEM
they didn't hold a job!

You go with me to the Space Program at NASA
and go, as I have gone, to the widows and Orphans
of Ed White, Gus Grissom and Roger Chaffee...
and you look those kids in the eye and tell them
that their DADS didn't hold a job.

You go with me on Memorial Day and you stand in
Arlington National Cemetery, where I have more friends
buried than I'd like to remember, and you watch
those waving flags

You stand there, and you think about this nation,
and you tell ME that those people didn't have a job?

What about you?"

For those who don't remember
During WWII, Howard Metzenbaum was an attorney
representing the Communist Party in the USA. Now he's a Senator!

If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.

It might not be a bad idea to keep this circulating.

Where were the heroes?

Where were the heroes recently when a madman entered Platte Canyon High School and took helpless children hostage? I can tell you where they were not: they were not within one thousand feet of any elementary, middle, or high school property. Why? Because heroes are the some of the most lawful citizens amongst us and they recognize that every law, good or bad, should be followed.

All public, parochial, and private elementary, middle, and high schools fall under the Gun Free School Zones Act of 1990. In general, this law prohibits law abiding citizens such as principals, teachers, volunteer parents and grandparents, and even off-duty law enforcement officers, from protecting our children while at school. Hardworking, trustworthy, respectful citizens such as you are prohibited from lawfully carrying a firearm for protective purposes within one thousand feet of school property.

But wait, didn’t the suicidal murders entering Columbine or Platte Canyon realize that by violating the Gun Free School Zone Act they faced fines up to five thousand dollars, and being imprisoned up to five years? Would any law stop a merciless monster or terrorist that was planning to torture, rape, or slaughter children? The answer is a resounding NO!

The Muslim terrorists who massacred one hundred and eighty six children in Belsan, Russia; the murders at Columbine, and Platte Canyon, all have common characteristics. They disobeyed all laws, their mission was to kill children, and their final act was to commit suicide. We are crazy to believe that a fine and some prison time would have stopped these monsters.

Our elected officials suffer from what Nobel Prize Economist Friedrich Hayek referred to as a “fatal conceit.” In the case of the Gun Free School Zone Act, “fatal conceit” is not metaphoric, but quite literally fatal for our school children. Elected officials believe they can change our world and make everyone safe with their God-like pronouncements. I guess if those laws make us “feel safe” and help them win an election, it’s OK, right? Wrong!

Criminals are not of sound mind, but that does not mean they are unintelligent. Perhaps Cesare Beccaria, the father of modern criminology often quoted by John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, said it best: "An unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man." Human nature has not changed and we are fools to believe otherwise.

Wake up America…in the hands of law abiding citizens, guns save lives. One hero, with one lawfully carried firearm, could have saved the precious life of 16-year-old Emily Keyes yesterday.

Want to chat with the author about your views? Meet him this Saturday at Casa De Nutz and Crackerz!
Learn More about Virginia's gun laws HERE

A cool editorial in the Virginian-Pilot

Read all about it HERE

Life aboard a Super Carrier! 2006

Doctors and Guns

Physicians:

(A) The number of physicians in the US is 700,000
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy of US Dept. of Health Human Services.

Guns:

(A) The number of gun owners in the US is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80
million..)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188

Statistics courtesy of the FBI

So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than
gun owners.
Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."

Go Broncos!

Broncs Kick the Crap out of UVA!!! Go Broncos!

Bronco Football Does It Again; Beats Virginia, 17-10 Courtesy: Mat Kanan, associate director of athletic media relations Release: 09/16/2006 Courtesy: GS Photo Box Score CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. � Western Michigan used a stifling defense to capture its first win over an opponent from the Atlantic Coast Conference, defeating Virginia, 17-10, and spoiling homecoming for 59,679 Cavalier faithful. The win also marked the first win over the Cavaliers by a team from the Mid-American Conference. The Broncos did it with defense in the first quarter. On Virginia’s opening drive, Kevin McCabe was errant on his pass and it was picked off by Louis Delmas and returned 24 yards to the Cavaliers 21-yard line. The Brown & Gold used eight plays to traverse the 21 yards, converting on two fourth downs. The second fourth-down conversion put WMU in the end zone when Mark Bonds went over the top for his sixth-career rushing score and gave the Broncos a 7-0 lead early. Virginia’s offense found its rhythm on the Cavaliers next drive. After starting the drive on its own 17, UVa recorded a pair of first downs in three plays to move the ball to the 42 yard line. The key play of the drive came when Tom Santi found a space in the Bronco defense and McCabe found him wide open for 34 yards down to the WMU five-yard line. Jason Snelling tied the score on the next play, bouncing off two tacklers for the score. The two teams traded field position over the next four drives and the first quarter ended with a tied game. The Cavaliers’ first possession of the second quarter resulted much the same as their first of the game. On a pass intended for Santi, McCabe’s pass was tipped by Anthony Gebhart, intercepted by Desman Stephen and returned 34 yards for the go-ahead score. The pick was Stephen’s first of his career and marked the second straight game WMU has scored on an interception return. Londen Fryar had the honor last week against Toledo, returning an interception 92 yards for a touchdown. The interception not only put Western Michigan ahead, 14-7, it also knocked UVa’s starting signal caller. On the next drive, Christian Olsen replaced McCabe under center but did not fare much better as Virginia was forced to punt. Western Michigan could not muster much on offense during the first half. In fact, Peregrin’s 19-yard completion to Jamarko Simmons in the second quarter, Peregrin’s career long, made up for almost all of the Broncos’ 23 yards passing. The Bronco ground game was also stymied during the first two quarters. Despite Bonds’ scoring leap, he finished the first half with just 16 yards on 10 carries, while freshman Brandon West ran the ball four times for 21 yards (5.2 ypc). The Cavaliers ended the half on a positive note by capitalizing on great field position. UVa received the ball off a WMU punt at the Broncos’ 43-yard line. Olsen worked the two-minute offense well, completing three-out-of-five passes during a drive that resulted in a 34-yard field goal by Chris Gould with just 14 seconds left before halftime. The Cavalier offense sputtered throughout the first half but Virginia went to the locker room with a 187-52 advantage in total yards, having run 15 more plays than WMU. UVa quarterbacks combined for 137 yards through the air on 17-of-22 passing. Santi proved to be the target of choice as the junior hauled in five catches for 60 yards during the first two frames. But it was McCabe’s two interceptions that proved to be costly as Western Michigan went into the break with a four-point lead, 14-10. Freshman quarterback Jameel Sewell began the second half under center for the Cavaliers and provided a spark early, completing his first three passes, one for a first down but on third and long, Ameer Ismail and Anthony Belmonte met at the quarterback for a sack that forced UVa to punt. The Broncos took over at their own 20 after the punt. Bonds ran for three yards on the first play. He did a considerably better job on his second rush, scooting 56 yards down to the Virginia 17-yard line. A sack by UVa’s Chris Long stopped Western Michigan’s hope of a touchdown but Nate Meyer made good on a 32-yard field goal from the right hash to extend the Brown & Gold lead to 17-10 with 4:44 remaining in the third quarter. With Western Michigan still leading only by a touchdown and over 10 minutes left on the clock, Brandon West fumbled the hand off on a third-and-one play. The ball squirted away from the freshman ball carrier but was recovered by sophomore lineman, Steve Ellingsen. The play did force the Broncos to punt and the Cavaliers received the ball in WMU territory. Snelling rushed for 15 yards to the WMU 21-yard line and he ran for another five yards on the next play. UVa drove the ball to the Broncos’ 14 when Ismail came through again with a nine-yard sack of Sewell. The loss forced the Cavaliers to have to attempt a 41-yard field that missed wide right, ending the threat. WMU at VIRGINIA NOTES - First win over ACC opponent ever - Today’s game marks the first of two meetings against the ACC this season (Florida State � Nov. 18) - WMU has held its first three opponents to less than 100 yards rushing (Indiana � 71; Toledo � 88; Virginia � 69) - Thomas Peregrin making second career start - Louis Delmas recorded second INT of season (fifth of career in first quarter) - Mark Bonds scored sixth career TD on WMU’s first possession - Second consecutive game WMU has scored first - Desman Stephen records first career INT and TD - Second straight game WMU has scored on an INT return - Mark Bonds has had runs of over 50 yards in two straight game (Toledo � 57; Virginia � 56) - Jim Laney recorded 57-yard punt; longest of the season Box Score To remove your e-mail address from our mailing list, please click on Customer Care and select Remove From Mailing List from the Area of Interest list and specify your e-mail address. Note: This does not apply to opt-in e-mail. To modify your opt-in e-mail deliveries, log in to the site and modify your preferences. Customer Care Contact Us Terms of Use and Privacy Statement Customer Care Site Map News Feeds (RSS) © 2006 Western Michigan University. All rights reserved. Western Michigan University 1903 W. Michigan Ave. Kalamazoo, MI 49008-5406 College Sports Direct

Crap Happens in sets of 3's

I am sure a few of you are familiar with the fact that bad things happen in 3's. I even write about the bad things on here from time to time. Like the celebrity death watch, where 3 celbs will kick the bucket in close proximity time wise speaking. Well our bad things are happening in triplicate as well.

As we were coming home from the Vanhorns after a not so successful evening of no limit Texas hold em, as we pulled into the drive, smack! We got rear eneded! Yep that is a kick in the pants with all that is going on. Thankfully it was a slow impact accident. No one was hurt which was the important thing. Not a whole lot of damage was done to the Jeep. The guy that smacked into us of course had a little more damage to his ford wagon.

Crackerz and I are playing it as safe as possible laying low and taking care of ourself! Hopefully all of our crap has come for the time being, time for a little good fortune.

Masters of Disaster -- part duex

Ok so there we were this morning.. Crackerz had just finished up in the shower and was getting ready to do some ironing. I was in the office checking some emails and just going about my daily routine. Crackerz went in to the bathroom to discover the floor wet and the sound of running water coming from under the tub. Oh fuck! Not again, another busted water line. Our house, that we love and enjoy, is becoming twisted and demented!!
So after Crax, short for crackerz, informed me of our dilemma, it was a dash down stairs to the kitchen where I could hear water cascading across our ceiling... Oh fuck! Mind you, we just had our ceiling and hardwood floors fixed and replaced respectively because of a busted pipe... Oh fuck!! So I dashed out to the water valve at the street to secure the water coming to the house.. Oh fuck!
So here we are...trying to keep the floor dry, water dripping from the fixtures in the kitchen and coming this time, from the closets on the 1st floor.
The plumber was called and responded in a timely fasion as did the folks from service pro to help us dry out. Great dehumidifiers and blowers scattered about the house and of course the dreaded call to USAA! I hate using insurance but I guess that is why I pay premiums!!

More to follow with respect to this.. I really dont want the service master bubbas to carve a whole in my kitchen ceiling, but then again, we might just have to do it to make sure all is dry... Oh fuck! Notice the date of the post... should have listened to Garfield the cat and stayed in bed!
Be sure to check out the pix!!!

Is she a hottie or what?

As you all know I like to advertise wine that we come across that is pretty tastey. This is a two part attack if you will. Part one is so we remeber what in the hell we drank and part two tell you all about it because we know that some of our friends have similar tastes! Anyhow this is a special merlot from sunny, actually cloudy California. It came special delivery from some vinyard outside of Gayport San Francisco! The girls said it tasted a little "spicy" and was not too overwelming as some Merlots can be. If you want more info on this particular lable shoot the Cute Neighbor Girl an email. Oh and by the way we are trying to fix her up with some stud who likes to drink wine and can hang with the likes of Larry and Nutz with out being chased off. Beer funneling skills are a plus. 

The Freedom of Speech

Crackerz and I made a quick trip to our nations capitol over the weekend. Crackerz has been nagging me for the past few months that she wanted to go. Events lined up and we were able to go and not stop at IKEA along the way.

Anyhow we played ultimate tourist and saw all that the mall had to offer from the Lincoln Memorial to the Capitol building. Got to love the Mall! Additionally we had lunch with the African American Nation Family reunion which of course was preceeded by the Anglo Dutch Whitey National Family Reunion. I must admit however that thier food is better then ours.. I just love hogs feet and chitlins.

We were also blessed with the ability and opportunity to express out First Amendment Rights granted to all Citizens of the US!


Crackerz and i finished our night at I Ricchi and nevou Italian resturant off of 19th street. A good meal but most importantly the company is what counted most.

It was a fantastic trip and if you are heading to DC, this weekend is a good time to go. Not to hot, not much in the way of tourist traffic. Just about perfect! Take a peek at our other fine photos!

Another one Bites the Dust!

Or in this case another one swallows a little too much sea water.
It is never good when some one dies. It is also not very good when the death is preventable. Like walking, swimming should be second nature to humans.. Get out there, go for a swim stay in shape and play it safe!

The Virginian-Pilot
© September 12, 2006 | Last updated 5:40 PM Sep. 11

NORFOLK - A man who drowned Sunday morning off Ocean View has been identified as Oscar N. Guardado, 30.

Guardado was visiting Norfolk from Manassas with friends, said Officer Chris Amos, a police spokesman.

Witnesses told police that a man disappeared below the surface of the water off the 4400 block of E. Ocean View Ave. about 10:30 a.m. Sunday. He did not resurface.

A police dive team found Guardado's body at 2:30 p.m. near where he disappeared.

He might have been pulled under by a rip current, Amos said.

The cause of the incident remains undetermined pending the results of a medical examination.

A direct hit by Ernesto!

However we did need the rain, not necessarily all in the same block of time!!!